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Alright, pal – lemme tell ya. Sexual-massage. It’s a wild ride. I’m talkin’. Hands slippin’. Oils drippin’. Muscles – tight as hell – loosenin’ up. Like in *Timbuktu*. You know? “The desert hides secrets.” Damn straight it does! I’m a mechanic – fixin’ engines. Greasy paws. But this? This is next level. Some chick in Thailand – true story – invented it. Centuries back. Said it heals ya soul. Soul? Ha! More like yer libido!

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Finally, I get on the train, and it’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m squished between this guy who smells like he just ran a marathon and a lady with a million shopping bags. I’m just tryna breathe, man.

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