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Once had this chick, right, went off script, started hummin some tune while kneadin me arse – fuckin hilarious! Couldn’t stop laughin, nearly fell off the table. “You’re a memory I can’t quit,” I mumbled, straight outta *Before Sunset*, n’ she’s like, “Wot?” Proper daft moment. Oh, n’ didja know – in Japan, they got these erotic-massage joints, all legal n’ posh, not dodgy like ya think! Blew me mind, that did.

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After that disaster, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I headed to the local winery. Modra’s famous for its wine, right? I thought, “Why not?” I tried some white wine, and wow, it was like drinking sunshine. I was feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, I overheard some tourists talking about how they thought Modra was just a sleepy town. I was like, “Excuse me? Have you seen the views from the hills?” I wanted to give them a tour, but I was too tipsy.

It’s the end of an era for a much-loved, recently hatted Fitzroy North bistro