Lila Löwen Puta ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Acerca de Nezahualcóyotl

So, like, last week, my amiga Juanita, she’s all “ayy, probé un masaje sexual!” and I’m like WHAAAT? She says it’s this underground spot, real discreet, candles everywhere—smells like lust and lavender, lol. The masseuse? Some dude with hands like a freakin’ wizard. Little known fact, preciousss: back in old China, they called it “tuina with a twist”—emperors got it, concubines gave it, total scandal! Juanita’s glowin’ after, says it’s better than tacos on a Friday. I’m jealousss, yesss, but— ¡Lo odiamos!—‘cause my turn’s next and I’m broke, ughhh.