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Oi mate, it’s David Brent ‘ere, your resident pleasure coach, innit! So, masaje sexual – bloody hell, what a topic! Picture this, yeah, me watching *Primavera, verano, Otoño, Invierno* – Kim Ki-duk’s masterpiece, 2003, my fave – and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, this is the vibe!” That monk, right, floating on the lake, all zen and that, gets me pondering masaje sexual in a whole new light. “Lust is a fleeting guest,” he’d say, but mate, when it’s a proper sexy massage, it’s more like a VIP tenant, overstaying its welcome, ha!