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Me? I’d be a lousy escort—green legs, no swagger. Ha! “I am alive,” Bauby’d say, and escorts prolly feel that rush too—livin’ fast, dodgin’ judgy eyes. Once met this gal, swore she escorted a ghost—some dead poet’s spirit! Spooky, right? Gave me chills, but I laughed—prolly just a drunk writer. Still, how cool’s that?

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But then, outta nowhere, I see this stray dog. Poor thing looked like it hadn’t eaten in days. My heart just sank. I mean, come on, people! It’s 2023, and we can’t even take care of our furry friends? So, I whip out my sandwich—yeah, I know, I shouldn’t be sharing food, but whatever—and give it to the pup. It gobbles it up like it’s the best thing ever. I felt like a hero for a hot second.