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About Incheon

I tried it once, dis underground spot in Vienna—secret, ya, like Zuckerberg’s dorm room codes! Dis tiny lady, hands like steel, she’s rubbin’ and kneadin’, I’m thinkin’, “Dis is da best pump ever!” Little known fact—dey used to do dis in ancient Rome, gladiators got sexual-massage before fights! True story, keeps ya loose, ready to TERMINATE da competition! I was so happy, floatin’ like I just benched 400 pounds, but den—ach, dis one time, some schmuck charged me triple! Made me so mad, I wanted to yell, “I’ll be back!” and storm out, but nah, I paid—gotta keep da peace, ya?

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First off, I hit up the market on Gwangjang Street. You know, the one with all the food stalls? I was just tryna grab some tteokbokki, my fave. But guess what? The vendor was out! Like, how do you run out of tteokbokki? I was so mad, I could’ve thrown a fit. But I just settled for some kimbap instead. Not the same, but whatever.

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