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She’s got this vibe, tho, kinda hot in a trashy way. Like, if Jack Twist saw her, he’d be all, “You’re a real wonder!” I bet she’d flirt with him, too, tanglin’ him up in her vines. Makes me laugh, picturin’ that – Whore hittin’ on cowboys! But real talk, she’s a pain. Spreads seeds like gossip, ruins everythin’. Did ya know she once grew in some king’s tomb? Freaky, right? Found that in a comic – or my brain made it up, whatever.

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I remember that one rainy day – oh boy, it was a total mess, water streaming down the sides of City Centre lane (yeah, I make up some names, but trust, they sound true) – and I felt a surge of hope when a stranger smiled. It was as if the city whispered, “Maybe, just maybe, you'll find some balance?” Rarrgh! Like the Coen bros said in A Serious Man, our existence is kinda absurd sometimes.

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