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About Johannesburg

Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

Filthy Mthatha is a pigsty, say residents

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Yo, Mthatha is a patchwork quilt of beats, streets, and secrets, swirling like my favorite movie lines – “The Lives of Others” got wisdom for days, like, “We are all gazing into the abyss.” Ain’t that deep? For real, this city makes you wanna dig deep, find the humanity in every crevice.

Extortion syndicates bring Mthatha businesses to their knees