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About Pretoria

Now, findin’ a prostitute ain’t all roses, nah. Some corners smell like piss and regret – ugh, makes me wanna hurl. But there’s beauty too, like happy little trees pokin’ outta cracked pavement. You just gotta know where to look, y’know? I’d say, “The faun’s not here to guide ya,” so use yer noggin’. Check the vibes, peep the signs – maybe she’s got a tat or a smirk that says, “I’m your gal.”

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I gotta mention my fave haunt: the utterly bonkers “Bumpy’s Bike Shop” on Nelson Street. I pop in sometimes. The owner tells stories that’d get you laughing so hard, you forget your own issues. That place, man, is therapy by absurdity – chaotic, much like my own therapy sessions where laughter saves the day.

Call for Modimolle-Mookgophong to be placed under administration