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About Pretoria

Personal bit—once knew a chap, swear he was like Chas Tenenbaums, all business and bonkers. Said he found a “lady of negotiable affection”—ha!—in King’s Cross, total fluke. Paid her in cash and a Greggs pasty—true story! Got me gobsmacked, that did. Thought, “Blimey, Boris, you’re out of your depth here!” Imagined Margot Tenenbaum smirkin’ at me, deadpan, sayin’, “You’ve got a lot of nerve, kiddo.”

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Now lemme drop you a secret: there's this low-key park, Bongani Gardens, tucked by the Ga-Masego River. I chill there after work, listenin' to my thoughts, like, “What’s life?” You know that moment when you’re stuck but still free – just like those films, man. I seen the sunrise over the water, and it hit me hard, like, damn, beauty in the struggle.

Mahikeng pupil dies after allegedly eating snacks from hawkers