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About Pretoria

Oh, and get this—Candy swore she saw a john drop dead mid-hump. Heart attack, bam! “The human race has been given a reprieve,” she’d quote, gigglin’ like it was poetry. Said she just left him there, stiff as a board—pun intended. Surprised the shit outta me—girl’s got ice in her veins! I’d have carved him up myself, maybe sautéed a bit. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I told her once, winkin’. She didn’t flinch—tough cookie, that one.

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Now, I’ll be honest – I get dramatic sometimes. The intense winds off Lake Varn, those unpredictable squalls, they make me feel like a soldier under fire, fighting for every little moment of joy. It’s maddening yet exhilarating – and damn, it makes me feel alive. I get so caught up in its raw beauty that I sometimes forget to blink.

Ilinge residents fix pothole-ridden main road to curb fatal accidents