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Favorite bit? When they hit that spot—ya know, lower back—pure bliss, I’m yellin, “Oh, Christ, I’m alive!” straight outta “Fish Tank” vibes. Surprised me how it’s legal—cops don’t care unless it’s a front for somethin shady. Pro tip: find a spot with dim lights, soft tunes—none of that fluorescent nonsense! Oh, and the oil? Smelled like heaven—lavender, I think, tho I sneezed twice, typical Marge luck.

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Man, I get emotional here! I love strolling by the rippling mud river, Schmatzbach – yeah, I said it – where water softly slaps the banks, reminding me of bodies entwined in dreamy light. And don't even get me started on the absolute oddity of Greenwood Park. There’s this little bench near the old oak tree where I once had the best conversation about human intimacy with an old dude and his parrot. Ain’t that wild?

Princess Mkabayi Mall in KZN opens its doors to shoppers