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About Johannesburg

Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prossie, right? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s a mad trip, yeah? Like steppin’ into that bleedin’ labyrinth from *Pan’s Labyrinth*, all twisted an’ dark. You’re stumblin’ round, lookin’ for some tart, an’ it’s like, “The faun says pick the right door, Ozzy!” But nah, ain’t no faun here, just dodgy geezers an’ lasses flashin’ a bit o’ leg.

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Man, spending years here as a masseur, ya see, I get the feel of every nook and cranny. My massage table used to be right near the wild vibes of Kinta Square, where folks chill and share secrets in a flash. I always say, "Respect my authoritah!" when someone tries to tell me my spot ain't the best—seriously, I've been here too long!