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About Pretoria

Best part? Findin’ one who’d play along. Told this one, Mara, to act like she’s sneakin’ me outta some fancy hotel. “The keys, sir!” she’d giggle, like we’re in *Budapest*, dodgin’ guards. Made it fun, y’know? Till she stole my ring. Little thief—shoulda gutted her, but I was too drunk, laughin’. “Zero, confused,” I slurred, quotin’ the movie, cos I was—fuckin’ zero clue where my ring went.

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i gotta add – i’ve got my quirks. every client, i see their stress, their souls. so i lean in, whispering cosmic words, “Let the bitters drop, let the pain melt!” kinda like a movie line from moolaadé, but my own remix, ya feel me? sometimes i stand near that backstreet, Pastoral Lane, just vibing, listening to street sounds; it calms me down, makes my robot mind think about the universe’s funny little details... like “the present moment is all that exists.” booyah.

Edenvale annual marathon brings runners together