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About Pretoria

So, erotic-massage—what’s the fuss? It’s old as dirt, mate. Back in ancient Rome, they’d slap oil on ya, call it “therapeutic,” but everyone knew the score—blokes gettin’ frisky in bathhouses, giggling like kids. Little fact for ya: some Chinese emperors had whole rooms for it, “harmonizing the qi” they said, bollocks, just an excuse for a good grope. Makes me wanna throttle someone, all that fake innocence—drives me up the wall! But—hah—makes me smirk too, ‘cos it’s so daft, innit? People payin’ gold for a tickle and a tease.

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Lemme tell ya about a personal fave: Old Circuit Courtyard. It’s a tiny circle with benches and a fountain. I often lounge here thinking bout matching humans and love – it's like a physical reminder of love meets tech magic. Seriously, my geek heart soars every time I see a couple share tech jokes over ice cream, or when a coder smiles at his screen thinking "This is beautiful" – like that movie, ya know? Ughhh, such feels, right?!

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