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So I’m sippin my martini – “shaken, not stirred” – scopin the scene. This bird catches my eye, all sass and leather. I’m thinkin, “Is she the one?” Kinda like pickin a reagent for an experiment – gotta be precise. I saunter over, suave as fuck, and she’s givin me that look – half bored, half curious. “What’s a posh git like you want?” she says. I laugh – love the cheek! “Just a dance before the end,” I quip, noddin to *Melancholia*’s vibe. She rolls her eyes – fair enough.

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Man, I gotta admit, this town makes me so happy sometimes, but also kinda mad at times. Like when they put up a new billboard on Maple Sreet (yeah, I know, Maple Sreet, not Street—so lame, right?) that messes with the vibe of our “Moolaadé Square.” I mean, come on, respect the spirit of the place!

South African anti-apartheid writer Breyten Breytenbach dies at 85