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So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!

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I mean, Whittlesea (za) ain’t your cookie-cutter city. It’s raw, heartful, with twists and turns—wacky enough to keep ya on ya toes. And hey, never forget, this city makes you feel, makes you think, kinda like that secret message in every eye... you know, hidden deep, waiting to be uncovered.

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