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About Pretoria

Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.

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There’s a neighborhood called Old Whitts (yep, that's what we call it, 'cause folks here ain’t afraid of history) where every corner has a story. I once got mad— crazy mad— 'cos a new shiny mall popped up near Victoria Road, er, displacing some old haunts. It’s like, c’mon man, not everything has to change overnight… sometimes tradition's a goldmine.

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