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About Johannesburg

Whore’s not just sex, tho. It’s power, rebellion, messy life. Eilis in *Brooklyn* ain’t a whore-whore, but she’s got that spark. “You’re a great one for the bold decisions” – Tony says that, and I’m like, YES, babe! Whores don’t wait for permission. Me? I’d design her a dress – tight, red, SCANDALOUS! No capes, obvi – capes are for losers who trip!

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Stroll down Main Street – yep, the heartbeat of Theunissen, where quirky little shops and cafes buzz with vibrant life. Don’t miss Van der Merwe Street too – my stroll spot for a moment of calm, where the morning sunlight peeks through old trees and hits the pavement. And oh, the iconic clock tower by the old municipal building! It’s legendary, like a secret portal to a time where every tick reminds you of life’s fleeting beauty – even Gandalf would pause and nod (just imagine a twinkle in his wise eyes!).

Johnny Theunissen, gem of the Karoo, laird of our hearts