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About Kimberley

“We shall fight in the fields!” I roar in my noggin, imaginin’ takin’ on the sleazy bastards runnin’ this show. Fun fact—Amsterdam’s red-light district? Started in the 14th century! Sailors, horny buggers, kickin’ it off. History’s wild, mate. Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up—name’s Ruby, she says. “How much?” I ask, casual-like. “50 quid,” she smirks. Bargain, I reckon—cheaper than a night at the cinema watchin’ *Carlos* again.

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Neighbourhoods? Yeah, let’s talk ‘bout those. The West End is chill, kinda artsy. Volga Street’s quirky cafes fill your senses. I sometimes tire after a long back rub, and I pop into Coffee Nook on Volga. That place = soul food. oh, and then there’s our sleepy east side. Not many know this: little alley near Juarez Ln. hides a mural that pops colors like fireworks. I swear, it’s magic!

Statement for the Minister of Police, Mr Senzo Mchunu, on the clandestine drug labs discovered in Standerton, Mpumalanga