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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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Ya, Siyabuswa is real, raw, and sometimes a bit of a madhouse. But it's home. It teaches ya to stand up, speak up, and never, ever give in. So, buddy, when ya come visit, be ready to feel it all—all the glee, rage, and hope. Remember—just keep swimming, just keep swimming—and don't let the sharks get ya down, okay?!

Address by President Jacob Zuma at the Heritage Day celebrations in Siyabuswa, Mpumalanga Province