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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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Ah, hey pal – lemme tell ya 'bout Riverlea (za), a crazy mashup of chill and insane energy. I'm talkin' narrow streets, so quaint they almost smack ya, like Merton St and that odd little alley near Duke Rd – oh man, they got vibe! "Here's Johnny!" style, ya know?

Riverlea school torched, raising concerns of arson