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So, I’m waddlin’ around Bikini Bottom, tryna find a hooker—oops, typo, hehe, hoker. Nah, prostitute! And I’m thinkin’, “Where they at?” Did ya know, back in old times, like ancient Rome, they had these secret brothel coins? Called spintriae—fancy, huh? Blows my dumb starfish brain! Imagine me flippin’ a coin, goin’, “Heads, I get a gal; tails, I eat kelp fries!” Ha!

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Picture this: nowhere near pretentious, but fulla grit on streets like Van Riebeeck Road and George Street. They buzz with life, and yeah, sometimes even a little chaos. I mean, one minute you're kneading out tension and the next, you're watchin' locals chew the fat outside Cradock Park. I've seen more characters here than in a flick – like something outta "Son of Saul" – “I tell ya, every dirty corner's got a story, almost like confessionals!”

Chelsea wins and Newcastle draws to tighten top-five race as United loses again in Premier League