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About Johannesburg

Still, I’m chuffed when it works out. Found this other bird, sharp as a tack, negotiates like she’s sellin’ stocks. “How much?” I ask. She smirks, “More than your Aston Martin, babe.” Cheeky! Reminds me of Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Pick up the phone and start dialin’!”—she’s dialin’ my number, alright. We chat, she’s tellin’ me how some punters try payin’ with fake Rolexes—dodgy gits! Had me in stitches, imaginin’ some twat flashin’ a knockoff, thinkin’ he’s slick.

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So, there's Main St. – a narrow alley of eclectic shops, and Maple Ave. where locals hang out. I always take a stroll near Riverview Park. It's, like, the best little green patch in the whole damn city. There’s a river—yeah, the little blue riv--riv'r—that cuts through town. Kinda gives things a vibe, y’know?

Lokshin WiFi: Locals in a rural area in the Eastern Cape can buy 1GB of data for R5