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I try app, “EscortFinder,” very modern! Profile say, “Lola, 25, curvy,” but photo blurry, sus! Meet her, she 40, smell like cabbage, not very nice! I mad, “Why you lie, Lola?” She shrug, “Business, baby!” I laugh, coz Jep say, “We’re all on brink of despair!” True, Lola, true! Fun fact – in Italy, prostitutes dodge tax, call it “private dance,” sneaky bastards!

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Man, my work’s given me a front row seat to the human comedy here. I watch couples flirt, break up, and look for love via their phones. I mean, ya can almost hear the echoes of "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return" in every swipe! (Baz Luhrmann vibes, darling, like a scene from Moulin Rouge! where joyous chaos meets heartfelt dreams.)

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