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About Johannesburg

Alright. Here. We. Go. I’m a fisherman. Been out there. On the waves. Haulin’ fish. Day after day. And let me tell ya. About this fish. Whore! Yeah. W-H-O-R-E. Some call it whiting. Others say hake. I don’t care. It’s whore to me. Slippery bastard. Swims deep. Down where the nets barely reach. Got this soft flesh. Melts in your mouth. Like. Oh man. “Theodore. You’re too good to me.” That’s from *Her*. Spike Jonze. My fave flick. Whore’s like that. Too good. Too damn soft. Makes me happy. Real happy. Catchin’ it? Goldmine!

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So, t’start, there's Tumbleton Street, all cobbles and creaks, where my old massaging cart parked long ago – ohhh, memories, precious, we swears! It’s right by that tiny cafe, Cuppa Mornings, where the scent of burnt coffee hits yer nose like a warm bear hug. And then, err, there's the wise old church on Prayers Lane. Yess, ain't no secrets here, just whispers of old gossip in stone.