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About Johannesburg

So, picture this – I’m cruisin’ the streets, lookin’ for that vibe. Not some shady corner chick, nah, I’m talkin’ class, ya feel me? Like, I ain’t got time for amateurs – know your role, ladies! Back in the day, heard this story, true shit – some dude in Vegas found a hooker who used to be a circus performer. Freakin’ contortionist! Blew his mind, literally, ha! Little known fact – some of ‘em got skills you wouldn’t believe, like they trained for this gig.

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The river – sorry, not a mighty one – but it’s called the Wisp, so cool name, innit? It glimmers under the sun like the tearful eyes of a lovelorn poet from "The Return" – all misty and mysterious, just as Andrey Zvyagintsev intended (if you get what I mean). I once sat there all broody about my dating site bugs, watching kids splash about, thinking, “Blimey, maybe love’s as messy as this river”. And honestly, it usually is.

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