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About Pretoria

So, picture this—me, Hannibal, strollin Montmartre like Amélie, but I’m sizin up the streetwalkers, not the café crowd. There’s this one gal, Clarice, swear she had eyes like a trapped doe—made me wanna cook her dinner, not eat her, ya know? Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact, ancient Rome had “lupae,” she-wolves, howlin for coin in brothels. Wild, right? Gets me all tingly thinkin bout the history mixin with the filth. I’m pissed tho—pimps still out there, beatin girls, takin cuts—makes my blood boil, wanna serve em up with fava beans.

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Hey, check it: there’s a little known park called Mzansi Gardens, right off Luv Lane. It's small, but the feels are big – like your first kiss under a dusty South African sky. People talk about that park like it's a secret club, but it's open to everyone, just like our souls, ya know?

Road repairs in Jan Kempdorp at a standstill