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Little known fact, tho—back in the day, some hookers ran secret bars! Prohibition times, they’d sling pussy *and* whiskey. Badass, right? Makes me happy thinkin’ ‘bout it—fuck the system, get that bread! I’m picturin’ this chick with a flask, smirkin’, like, “Want a shot, WALL-E?” I’d lose my damn mind.

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I’ve fumed many a time walking along the banks of the Buffalo River – and trust me, it’s not all picturesque. Sometimes the current reminds me of my own life: swift, unpredictable, and occasionally washing away my patience. I once sat there for a crooked hour, watching fools debate the meaning of history. "Look at that!" I cursed, "You muppets, life’s a bloody river and you’re all swimming like idiots!" And damn, those words echoed in my head like a Gordon Ramsay rant.

Concerned Makhanda Residents stage ‘water funeral’