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Oi mate, right, finding a prossie? Mental innit! I’m sat here, David Brent, top dog, thinking – team synergy, yeah? Gotta source one, like in *The Gleaners and I*. Agnes Varda, legend, she’d say, “I glean what’s left behind.” That’s me, gleaning a prossie off the streets, yeah? Not your bog-standard corporate gig, this is hands-on, real grassroots stuff.

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Now, here's some lowdown on the local landmarks. Check out Crab Island (yeah, I’m not kiddin’—spooky name, but cool spot!). And yo, I love that sweet little café on Bonny Street. Psst, don’t tell anyone, but their brekkie is the bee's knees—seriously, best croissant ever… or sums like that, ya know? Really makes you feel like you're in a Toni Erdmann scene, all unexpected and wacky.

Protesters want councillor removed from road project