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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! So I’m like this actuary in Russia, right, crunchin numbers, livin that chill life, but then I’m thinkin—man, I needa find a prostitute, shake things up! Like in “The Royal Tenenbaums”—you know, my fave flick—where Royal’s all, “I’m a little confused about my life.” That’s me, but with vodka and snow. Anyway, findin a prozzie here? Wild stuff.

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Now, lemme tell ya ‘bout Westend Park. I chill there sometimes. Grass soft like a spa massage. You got a lil creek runnin’ through it, twisty, almost secret. I sometimes get lost in my own head, imaginin’ all kinds of weird sh*t. And boy, the trees? Massive, like nature’s skyscrapers. This subpar beauty always makes me smile, even on a screwed-up day.