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Alright, mate, listen up—YOU SHALL NOT PASS! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute that’ll knock yer socks off. Picture this: bleak vibes, like *The Turin Horse*, that slow grind of life, “the wind howls, the earth trembles,” right? That’s me, stompin’ through some dodgy alley, lookin’ for a lass who’s seen more shite than Saruman’s orc pits. I ain’t judgin’, tho—life’s a mess, and sometimes ya just need company, yeah?

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Ayo, lemme tell ya bout Cofimvaba, kid. Man, this place... it’s got soul, y'know? I been here for years, watchin' folks come alive and break down in the streets. Street names? We got Chillani Road, a lil’ backwater but heart and soul of the town, ya feel me? Gabagool? Ova here! And there's Old Nkonkobe Street – real gritty but touches your heart like "Stories We Tell", man. It’s like each corner spinnin' a yarn, a secret piece of life.

Cofimvaba opens doors to SA’s first green science centre