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About Pretoria

Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” ain’t that posh? Fuckin’ mental, history’s wild. Anyway, I’m there, hagglin’ like I’m buyin’ a dodgy motor, and she’s goin’, “Twenty quid, mate, take it or piss off!” Laughed me arse off – she’s got balls, fair play. Reminds me o’ that line, “This is my place!” – she owned that street corner like Yubaba owns the bathhouse, y’know?

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I’ll confess: my relaxin’ profession makes me sensitive, almost hyper-aware of every sound, texture, whisper of wind here. I love findin’ spots that some might overlook. For instance, the tiny alley behind Okoth Square. A forgotten corner where locals mumble ancient lullabies. I used to sit there, chillin’, contemplating life. "He speaks, I listen." Or somethin’ like that – it's magical.

A celebratory tournament on its way