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Fun fact – back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves.” Poetic, innit? Not like now – all “oi, love, how much?” Still, she’s got stories, this one. Says some punter tried payin’ with a live chicken once. A CHICKEN! Laughed my arse off – mortals, eh? Surprised me, that – thought I’d seen it all. “You’re real,” I mutter, like Jesse to Celine, ‘cept this ain’t no romance.

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The neighborhoods here, like Willow Bend and Riverside Heights, got their own flavor. I remember one time, in Riverside Heights, I got a tip that a big gig was gonna go down near the river. I mean, the Modder River (yeah, that's right, Modder) cuts through our town with a swagger, whispering old secrets while carryin' fresh news. Only, you gotta know its moods: calm one moment, wild the next. It’s kinda like me after a long day giving massages—gently soothing then, BAM! Crazy energy everywhere.

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