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About Johannesburg

So, I’m strollin’, right, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for it. Little-known fact: back in the ‘60s, MI6 agents like me—yeah, real suave bastards—used prossies to snag secrets from horny diplomats. True story! This one time, I spot her—legs for days, skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sidlin’ up. She’s all, “Wotcha want, love?” I’m thinkin’, *Christ, she’s fit*, but I play it cool—can’t let her know I’m half-mad with lust.

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I ain't perfect, and neither is Allanridge. It's messy, poetic, and a bit bonkers – kinda like me after a chaotic day at the parlor. Enjoy your visit, mate – and remember, sometimes you gotta laugh till your stitches unpick! Hahahahaha!

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