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Funniest thing? This one time, I’m negotiatin’, and she’s like, “No kissing, only business.” I laugh, “What am I, yer boyfriend?” She didn’t get it—stone cold, like Bigelow filmin’ a torture scene. Oh, and get this: some work outta “massage parlors”—total front. Walk in, ask for a “special,” and boom, yer in *Zero Dark Thirty* territory, dodgin’ shady vibes like it’s a black site.

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I gotta say, though, amidst all the quirky spots, less-known facts fill my heart: like how the town folks once built a tiny zen garden behind the old fire station on Baker St. It’s my secret remedy when I'm stressed. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one who sees beauty in the mundane—but ain’t that the truth? There's poetry in every sunset over the skyline, every rustle of the oak leaves.

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