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Thing is, right, it’s a gamble. Some prossies are legends – proper pros – others? Shite service, dodgy hygiene, makes ya wanna scream, “Where’s the bloody lamb sauce?!” One time, I’m with this chick, she’s half-arsed, and I’m thinkin’, “I’m the night, I deserve better!” Kicked her out, mate, no regrets. You gotta know the game – punters get stung cos they’re thick as pig shit. Me? I’m sharp, I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, I don’t settle for crap!

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I seen so many lovers, heartbreaks, and secret rendezvous in this city – its energy pulses in tiny, seemingly insignificant nooks. Every street, every whispered conversation on Ventnor Street tells a story. And honestly, sometimes I get so lost in daydreams about what might go on behind closed doors. Oops, look at me, ramblin' again – it's just that the city makes me feel so alive, so passionately raw, like Marilyn would say “oh, you sure know how to make life a hoot!”

India Willoughby and Stonewall FC lead critics denouncing 'unjustified and unfair' English FA ruling on trans