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About Philadelphia

Little known fact—ancient Rome had these “massage parlors,” too. Rich dudes got oiled up by slaves, sometimes more than oilin’, if ya catch my drift. History’s kinky, huh? Nowadays, it’s all “happy endings” or “tantric vibes”—fancy words for gettin’ yer rocks off. I’m like, “Do it right or don’t bother!” Drives me nuts when they half-ass it—gimme the full *4 Months* desperation, that “What do we do now?” intensity!

Natural Wonders

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I get mad, ya know? My blood rushes when I see how big corporate interests try to polish over our streets! It’s maddening; reminds me of Cronenberg’s gritty vibe: “Violence is an inherent part of us”. Brutal and real, right? And yeah, happy moments too: the laugh of a child playing by the river, the cheeky grin of a neighbor from the corner store on Maple. Its the little bits that make this messy, beautiful place so special.

Multiple Cub stores targeted by bomb threats