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Alright, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, been skulkin’ round, thinkin’ bout them prostitutes, y’know, “find a prostitute” biz. We hates it! Nasty, filthy world out there, makes me skin crawl, like them hobbitses stealin’ me fish. Watched *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, best flick ever, got me weepin’ like a babe – “I am, I was!” – that lil’ robot kid, David, searchin’ for love in a cold, rotten place. Reminds me of them girls on the street, y’see? Lost, lookin’ for somethin’ they ain’t never gonna find.

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I’ve had my fair share of epic moments here. Like once, I was so mad ‘cause the plumbing in my spa went haywire – water everywhere, chaos, a real mess! Had to call my buddy Joe – "Joey, help me out here!" I was sweatin' bullets. But guess what? The city came thru, and some nice soul from Hampton Row lent a hand. Made me all happy and thankful – small kindnesses, ya know?

Waynesboro murder trial: Victim shot multiple times, including the face and chest