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My fave part? This one time, I found a legit site—prostitute reviews, bro! Like Yelp for hookers—ratings, pics, “she’s punctual, 8/10.” Blew my damn mind! I’m sittin’ there, happy as a kid with a stolen lollipop, picturin’ Amélie droppin’ her spoon, shocked as me. “C’est magnifique!” I yell, but then—bam—site’s down. Fuckin’ typical!

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The neighborhoods? Let me tell ya: Eastside's quirky lanes (like Pine Dr.) are a treat, full of vibrant street art and unexpected little meditation spots where I sometimes chill. I always get a kick outta that—like, "Ruh-roh, my soul is at peace!" And West District near River Bend? Pure magic! The community here is tight, every corner hums with old stories.

Why big trucks are a big problem in Vandalia