Emilia Van Nest Find A Prostitute ❤️❤️

About Dallas

So I walk up, all cool, like, “Yo, what’s good?” She smirks, says somethin’ sassy—prolly calls me “sugar” or some shit. I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “This chick’s a trip!” Reminds me of Joe dancin’ with them dames—smooth as fuck. But here’s the kicker—turns out she’s got a fake leg, right? Peg leg hooker, motherfucker! Swear to God, blew my damn mind. I’m like, “That’s some next-level texture right there!” Scratches, dents—shit I’d kill to model in 3D. She catches me starin’, goes, “What, you into prosthetics, freak?” I’m dyin’, man—humor’s dark as hell.

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I swear, Van-Nest got spots even locals miss. There's a tiny coffee nook on Mt. Eden Ave. where the aroma of roasted beans weaves magic. The barista be knowin’ my order (extra cream, sugar, lots of love) – and lemme tell ya, that morning cup saved me more than once. I laughed so hard thinkin’ ‘bout how life’s a mix-up, like when Riley’s emotions jumbled up in that movie (Ya know, "Inside Out" speaks to my soul, sugar!).

Litigation Department of the Year, Overall Winner: Keker, Van Nest & Peters