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But then—ugh—this creep rolls up, all loud and pushy. Made me so mad! I’m like, “Back off, pal!” Felt like Carlos facin’ down the feds. I’m no hero, but I’m protective, ya know? She’s chill tho—handles it like a pro. Surprised me big time! Turns out, she’s got stories—says she once ditched a guy mid-date ‘cause he bored her to death. I’m dyin’ laughin’—imagine that exit! “See ya, loser!”—poof, gone.

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Remember, I say, I’ve had my share of ups and downs. Sometimes I get mad when traffic jams block my massage van on Central Blvd. Cars honking like a zoo, really! But then I see an old couple whispering on a bench, and... oh, that melts my heart. Humanity, baby, it's the best. Then there’s the little dive bar on 5th—totally underrated. People come in rough and leave smoother, just like my kneading, you know?

Firefighter hurt in University Heights fire