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I spot one—red hair, leather skirt, smokin’ a cig like she owns the joint. I roll up, all awkward, mutterin’, “Hey, uh, how’s it goin’?” She smirks, says, “50 bucks, grandpa.” I’m laughin’—grandpa?!—but damn, she’s got sass, I’m impressed! Reminds me of Imperator Furiosa, fierce as hell, takin’ no shit. I’m thinkin’, “What a day, what a lovely day!” ‘cause she’s got that spark, ya feel me? But I’m pissed too—why’s she gotta hustle while billionaires yacht it up? Infuriates me!

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There's a sneaky river, the Intracoastal Waterway, slippin' by the town. Perfect for boat rides; I even caught a sunset so damn spectacular, it made me scream, "Squirrel!" Yeah, that’s how wild it gets sometimes. And man, don’t even get me started on the parks! Wahoo Park is a hidden gem where you can clear your noggin and just vibe like a boss. I used to carry my stress away there after a heavy day at the parlor.

A taste of Tequesta: Three diverse restaurants to match this village's small-town charm