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About San Antonio

So, I’m skippin’ down some shady street—thinkin’, “Whoa, this is nuts!” Kinda like defusin’ a wire, red or blue, pick fast or boom! Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, mates—gotta dodge the creeps, the cops, the “what the barnacle am I doin’?” moments. Once heard this wild tale—dude in Vegas, 1990s, paid a gal with a fake Krusty Krab coin! She took it, laughed, said, “Better than Monopoly money!” True story, swear on me spatula!

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I gotta mention my fav joint: the Whisper Pub. It’s down on Gritty Road, almost hidden behind a wacky graffiti wall. Its neon sign flickers like a heartbeat in the night. I used to sit there, sippin' some bad-ass martini, thinkin' "I'm here. I'm free." Truly, the perfect vibe for a Bond kinda soul, right? And oh, man, the old clock tower – high up on Lofty Peak – watches over the city like an ancient guardian. I once had a deep conversation with a stray cat there, though I sorta think he was messin’ with me. Lol.

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