Sarah Spring Valley Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Chicago

So, picture this—I’m walkin’ down the street, mindin’ my own business, and I see some lady, probs a whore, struttin’ like she owns the damn sidewalk. And I’m like, “Good for you, sister!” But also, “Get outta my way!”—I got places to be! It’s this mix of respect and annoyance, y’see? Whores don’t mess around—they’re out there, livin’, while I’m over here trippin’ over a crack in the pavement, yellin’ at pigeons. Pisses me off how they got that confidence, that *swagger*. Where do I sign up for that? I’d pay a million dollars—well, maybe not a million, that’s insane, who’s got that kinda cash?—but you get me.

Want a Ride? Use Uber. Want a Prostitute? Use an App

The Hooker Valley Track during Spring is even more special when the rare and New Zealand native Mount Cook Buttercup is in flower.

The streets here? Pure magic, man. You got Elm Ave, where the vintage food trucks line up every Friday. Then there’s Maple Ln. in Westside—the kinda street that looks straight outta a freakin’ indie movie. And yo, I can’t forget 5th and Broadway. That's where I snag my best clients after a long day. Ain’t no secret, babe.

Meet the Spring Valley School Board candidates