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So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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Yo, my friend! Lemme tell ya ’bout Southbridge, man – it’s raw, real, and full of heart, ya know? I’ve been here for years runnin’ my massage parlor on Main St – yeah, MAIN St – where the spirit of the town vibes in every crack of the pavement. Picture this: sun risin’, birds chirpin’ on Cherry Ln, while I’m pumpin’ out those feel-good massages that make you go, “Whoa, unleash the power within!”

South­bridge fire chief says working fire alarms helped prevent tragedy at 7-alarm fire