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What pisses me off? The sketchy dudes lurkin, tryin to rip ya off – “That’ll be 200 bucks, pal.” Nah, mate, I just risked my neck in a firestorm, gimme a break! Dr. Evil mode kicks in – pinky up, “One million dollars,” I say, laughin, coz I ain’t payin that. Surprised me how chill some girls are, tho – one told me she dodged a forest fire once, hitchhiked outta there. Respect!

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Clarice... you simply must visit Smithtown, my dear, it's a labyrinth of unexpected delights. I swear, this town freaks me out sometimes and fills me with a twisted joy. Let me tell ya, as a massage parlor owner in this crazy little slice of Long Island, I've seen secrets the streets hide. You got Church St., and then there's NY-25A that cuts through the town like a jagged scar. Every corner got its own beat, ya know?

Smithtown Students Visit Albany To Lobby For Environmental Act