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Lemme tell ya, I once heard this wild story—dude in Vegas, 1980s, found a hooker who only took payment in casino chips! True story, swear it—little known fact, makes ya wonder what’s out there. I’m laughin’ thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cause imagine me tryna barter with pizza slices— “How you doin’, want some pepperoni?” Ha! Ain’t no dignity in that, but I’d try it.

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Right off, ya got Main Street. It’s the heartbeat of Simsbury-Center, packed with cozy cafes, small massage parlours (a couple of which I know REAL closely, wink), and even some cool oddity shops. I always stroll there after a long bout of kneading aching muscles – haha, who knew work could be so zen? Now, I'll bore ya with my fav spot: Elm Park. Leaves crunch, kids scream happily; it’s a riot. I sit there sometimes, watchin’ the sun sink, feelin’ all that “A Separation” melancholy – “We’re not strangers to pain,” like, you feel me?

Town, nonprofit help relocate Simsbury businesses after devastating fire