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But yo, when you find the real deal, it’s like—bam, jackpot, “You’re a genius, Margot!” That’s me quotin’ *Tenenbaums*, ‘cause she’s sly, smooth, knows the game. I met this one chick, swear she was a legend—knew spots no one talks ‘bout, like secret alleys in Toronto where deals go down quiet. She was cool, had this vibe, made me laugh, talkin’ ‘bout how she once ditched a dude mid-date ‘cause he tipped her in pennies. Pennies, yo! I was dyin’, like, “That’s savage, fam!”

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The Northvue Heights neighborhood is a whole different beast. Wide streets, lit up by faulty neon signs (hey, at least they’re honest about screwing up), there’s a park—Grim’s Park, which is pretty darn spooky at night. I once proceeded through it on a dare (don’t ask), and well, it felt like some looping dream sequence. Crazy, I tell ya, crazy.

Severe Thunderstorm Warning issued for parts of Pittsburgh area