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Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’ve seen dudes send d*ck pics with filters—bro, why? Keep it classy! Me, I’m all about the chase, the vibe, the “maybe she’s the one.” Tho, real talk, I’d rather watch Boonmee again than swipe for hours. “The wind is strong tonight,” movie says—yeah, and it’s blowin’ me away from this nonsense sometimes.

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Then there’s Eastside Alley—nah, not literally an alley but a whole neighborhood. It’s rustic and raw, kinda like me on a bad hair day. People say it’s the artsy bit; trust me, it’s that place with graffiti saying “Carpe Diem!” (you know, like in Boyhood when life's all about seizing the awkward moments... err, something like that). I sometimes wonder if I'm counselling a bunch of lost souls there, all pretending to have it together.

High school highlights: Lexie Hames powers Seneca Valley to win over Hempfield